From Zombos' Closet

Halloween Witch's Nose

Here it is, wart and all. I bought this because of the bewitching graphic. (Although, I admit, I'm tempted to wear it as a warlock's nose.)

Halloween Ultimate Mailbox

Me and Max the Drunken Severed Head were driving around in Butler, PA. Max now writes for Famous Monsters Magazine so he's all hoity-toidy and wanted to eat at this Italian restaurant located somewhere down a long and winding side road. We don't find it. So instead, he suggests the Beacon Hotel restaurant located on another long and winding side road in the opposite direction. I sort of leaned toward it myself given the hoity-toidy sounding name: I mean, we could tell everyone at the Monster Bash we ate at the Beacon, and wait for all those admiring and envious smiles. Well, searching for the Beacon Hotel, we saw this huge brown, must-be-another-chainsaw-sculpted bear--we're thinking--given we're in Pennsylvania, so don't pay it too much mind.

We drove past it and eventually find the Beacon Hotel restaurant. We both wished we drove past that, too. But that's another short story. All I'll say for now is if I ever did an Indie horror movie situated in a 1970s redneckish bar in the middle of a corn field, waiting at the end of a dustry gravel road, well, this place would be it. The coffee even tasted like it was brewed in 1974, too. The waitress was nice, though. I asked her about the Halloween haunted house attraction mentioned on the sign. She told me it was in the basement. But she had to think about it first, like no one ever asks about it. Right, I thought to myself, where else would it be in a place like this.

Oh, right, getting back to my point. Gladly back on that long and winding road again, Max said to pull over and check out the big brown thing when we come to it again because he noticed this large daisy sticking out of it's head. It's a short few hundred feet on our left, the big thing and daisy, so I headed over the small bridge and pulled up on the opposite side of the road.

It wasn't a big, brown, chainsaw-sculted bear.

We're not quite sure what it might be. Here are the cell phone photos I took of it. Get off my back right now because I don't want to hear how dark these photos are, okay? I don't have an iPhone yet, so don't even go there.

I think it's a hairy devil holding a mailbox. It's made out of sheet metal. It's eyes are sort of non-committal and it's face forlorn, but I'm still thinking it's a devil. Holding a mailbox. Freudian analysis would take too long and I don't have the time for it, but I'll just snicker and point a finger at the position of the mailbox, and leave it up to you to figure it out. 

Maybe Max and me should have checked out who'd weld sheet metal together into the shape of a lumbering devil standing about 10 feet tall, with a large daisy stuck in its head, all just to hold a mailbox. But times there are, when weird stuff like this, found on a long and winding side road in PA, should stay mysterious. 

Halloween 2011: The Spider House

This house, a few blocks from me, is overun with giant spiders every Halloween. Fantastically creepy tableau, especially when the cocooned victim (not seen in this shot) is hanging from the porch. 

Halloween 2011 Sighted: Pier 1 Imports

Here are Beetlejuice-snazzy Halloween decorations at Pier 1 Imports. The skeleton appears to be light metal and is 5 feet or so tall, and the haunted house and pumpkins' totem are sparkly rad. Their burst of candy colors makes them very stylish for trendy urban decors. Makes me wish they were edible.

Halloween Animated Dancing Grim Reaper

This animated Halloween Grim Reaper dances and sings Another One Bites the Dust. Another cool toy spotted at Walgreens, though probably available in other venues,  its eyes and face light up brightly as he puts the moves on your wallet. Like death, you know you're gonna get it.

Halloween 2011: Monster Mash Spooky Sounds Book

Bobby Pickett's 1962 Halloween song The Monster Mash makes a great read for the younger set, especially with spooky sounds and kooky illustrations for each monstrous scene. I saw this Hallmark display at Walgreens, but I'm sure you can find it just about anywhere books are sold. 

Halloween 2011: Freddy Animated Candy Bowl

I don't think you'll have many kids reaching into this Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Treat Bowl for candy. Yikes. Which is good if you're running low. Walgreens' also has a 6 foot hanging Freddy and a shrunken head Freddy. Take your pick. Looks like the copy editor for the packaging was scared away, too, or maybe they're going for a stuttering-fear effect with "reach into to the bowl and Freddy comes to life."

How sweet it is.

Halloween 2011: Hidden Screamer Skull and Cat

I picked these up today at Halloween City. There's a suction cup in back. You stick them in places like a drawer, cabinet, tool box--any place where sudden light can trigger the screaming. Nothing like the old sneak up and scare approach for festive Halloween fun, I say. I like the cat the most, but the skull's sinister enough.

Halloween 2011: Walgreens Dracula and Witch Animated Figures

So far it looks like the stores are going light on Halloween decorations and heavy on the candy. But I did find these delightfully cheery newlyweds at Walgreens. Don't Dracula and his blushing Witch bride make a charming dark couple? And how can you pass up this Jack-in-the-Box Evil Clown? You know, I wonder if there's a subliminal message going on here with those bright, toothy smiles? I mean, with all that candy piled up around them, you'd think they'd have fillings galore, not gleaming Colgate smiles.

 

Halloween 2011: Dracula & Frankenstein Super Deformed Plush

Found these little monsters on the shelves at my local Toys "R" Us. Around 7 inches tall, they're frrighteningly adorable. Looks like the Mummy's the big seller since I couldn't find him at all. Considering how slow he moves, it's surprising how fast he's going out the door.

Bronze Bat Wall Sconce Candle Holder

While the 4,000 dollar price tag kept me from purchasing the pair of unique bronze bat sconces, I drooled with envy and imagined they had come from Castle Dracula. I saw them on the wall of a shop while antiquing in Hudson, New York, this past weekend. Here's a closeup of one of them. 

 

Grow a Bloody Hand for Halloween

The marketing hype on this gruesome trick is zany fun: freak out your neighbors! Put it under a sibling's bed!

For a little rubber hand two inches in size (before growing), its visually striking display on this red, black, and white card package makes it irresistible. As well as the little bit of bone sticking out the end, which contrasts nicely against the red stump. How can you pass it up?

For an added treat, the disclaimer on the back is charmingly nonsensical: This toy is in no way intended to represent living people. Any resemblance is purely coincidental and not intended to harm anyone.

I suppose if you know someone who's all thumbs, they may be a little offended.