Captain Company Guillotine With Victim

Harmless Fun? Sure, it's only plastic. Cheap thrills? For only 98¢ it was a bargain.

Just flick a switch and down the blade came to lob off the victim's head, again and again. Did it start a chorus of angry parents chanting "off with Aurora's head!" Sadly, yes. Any idiot who thought whacking off tiny plastic heads from tiny plastic bodies could lead to moral decay obviously missed the point entirely: it was simply "a wonderful ornament for your desk or tabletop."

Now, what would make it truly sickening would be to put in a sound chip so the victim pleads for his life, then WHACK!!, add a nice splatty sound cutting of his screams, ending in a plop and swish-roll into the basket for a grand finale.

Wait a mo', what am I saying? That would be fantastic! Screw the glow parts in the reissue.

Hell, if they can sell those tasteless miniature toilets with their flushing sounds, I can't see why not. Moebius, you listening?

Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors Guillotine made monsterkids deliriously happy and their parents delirious. The uproar put a halt to Aurora's other potential entries in the series: the Electric Chair, the Rack, and the Hanging Tree.

Those would have been nifty desk ornaments, too. Hey, Moebius…