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Movies (Horror)

Movie Review: Matango (1963)
Attack of the Mushroom People

Zombos Says: Very Good 

Have an insatiable appetite for radiation-laced mushrooms and 1960s Japanese horror-fantasy? Why not invite everyone over for a Matango Mushroom Party! It’s fun and nutritious! Just get out the Fondue pot, light up some Tiki torches, and follow the instructions below for a groovy party your friends will never forget.

INGREDIENTS:

1 lightly greased DVD-player

1 fresh copy of Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People

1 Fondue pot

3 cups Velveeta cheese

2 cups Tenshi cheese, cut into small cubes

Enough Shiitaki mushrooms to feed 10 to 15 horrorheads

Enough beer, wine and Saki to inebriate 10 to 15 horrorheads

 

DIRECTIONS:

While the cheese is melting in the Fondue pot, put on Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People. Make sure everyone has their beverage of choice and is comfortably seated. Get the Shiitaki mushrooms ready while they enjoy this cinematic delight. Whenever any of the characters onscreen munch on a mushroom, have everybody yell “Matango!” and dip their mushrooms into the melted cheese. Yummy. You’ll have more fun than mimes at a karaoke party!

Inspired by William Hope Hodgson’s short story, A Voice in the Night, a crew of seven soon-to-be castaways are enjoying a nice sunny day aboard a wealthy man’s yacht. There’s the professor, the professor’s demure girlfriend, an alluring actress in a big hat, a mystery writer, a disgruntled skipper, some tough guy who never takes off his sunglasses—must be a gangster—and Gilligan.

Just kidding about Gilligan.

Before the bikini-clad, ukulele-strumming actress can launch into her next song, with more lyrics like “lalala” dubbed over and over again with “lalala,” a storm (thank god for us and the other listeners) suddenly whips up. As the sea starts getting rough, their tiny ship is tossed and the skipper yells for everyone to come on deck and lend a hand. Everyone, that is, except the two women aboard. Apparently 1960s women were pretty helpless when it came to helping out during crisis situations at sea.

The writer gets tangled up in the rigging and things go from bad to really bad. The not so brave and sure skipper yells for everyone to go back down below deck since they’re fairly poor deckhands.

Apparently 1960s men were pretty helpless, too.

Lack of courage and seamanship from the not so fearless crew lands them on the shores of a mysterious island covered in dense, swirling fog. Uppermost in everyone’s mind is the need for food, so they start foraging. They continue to move deeper into the island to find water and come across another, much larger, ship run aground.

Obviously a romance novelist, the writer stays with the girls while the others board the mysterious ship to investigate. A greenish, reddish fungus is everywhere, and the sure-footed skipper slips on the slimy stairs landing on his poop-deck.

“It’s weird,” says one of them.

Yes, it is.

They soon discover it’s an atomic energy research vessel. There are Geiger counters and mutated specimens in jars, so they assume the missing crew was doing radiation research of some kind. They find a big crate labeled “Matango,” pry it open, and find a giant mushroom inside. The crew is nowhere to be seen.

I’d like to see what Iron Chef would do with that fungi!

Bored with waiting, the girls board the ship. Naturally, they’re the first ones to notice all the mirrors in the staterooms are missing. In the captain’s quarters, a red, powdery, fungus is piled deep across the entire room. Before anyone can sneeze, the professor covers his mouth and nose and grabs the logbook. More searching yields few canned goods.

The once cheery group of seafaring friends is now surly and hungry. They need food badly so they start assigning hunting and gathering tasks. The wealthy guy slacks off while the others go about their business. The writer builds a signal fire and starts daydreaming a nightclub flashback, a nifty gimmick to get more scantily-clad singing girls into the movie and pad the running time.

Pop Quiz! Name one other Japanese radiation-themed movie with a lengthy nightclub dance scene. (See answer at the end of this review.)

Two others go hunting with a rifle and come across the broken mirrors, piled neatly, in the forest, creeping them out. As they watch, a bird does a sudden one-eighty and flies away.

“Even the birds don’t want to hang around here,” quips one of them.

Walking a little farther, they come across mushrooms. The logbook was pretty explicit about not eating any mushrooms on the island, so they just look longingly at them. A shadowy figure ahead of them causes momentary panic, but they gather their wits and head back to the research ship empty-handed.

After cleaning down a stateroom or two with the carbolic acid they found on the ship, they bed down for the night. Outside, the incessant rain dampens more than just their spirits. The action kicks in when one of them sneaks off to horde some of the canned food, only to run into a very knobby-looking, potato-headed individual. As the hoarder runs, falls, and screams (I thought only women did that in horror movies), the others race to see—gasp!—Mr. Potato Head.

Discretion being the better part of valor, they all run the other way and lock themselves in their sleeping quarters. Finally a woman screams as we get another glimpse of Starchy, the spud-looking guy (although he’s supposed to really be Mr. Mushroom guy.) Come morning they all think it was just a hallucination brought on by their hunger and dire predicament. The continued bleakness of the fog, the rain, and the lack of food starts to bring tempers to flash point, and their once friendly relationships deteriorate into everyone for him or herself. The writer drinks some courage and heads off with a rifle to find Mr. Potato Head. He doesn’t find him, but he does find lots of tasty, juicy mushrooms. Will he eat them?

Yes!

Matango! Don’t forget to dip.

When he returns, they have to lock him up because he wants to shoot everybody. Making matters worse, the skipper takes off in the repaired S.S. Minnow (my rough translation of the boat’s name) with the remaining canned goods. As the others continue to fight among themselves, the actress lets the writer out of confinement. Once again, he goes for the gun and they have to wrestle it away from him. Having no other recourse, they banish writer and actress from the tribe and send them into the jungle.

More rain, more fog, more bleakness, and more mushrooms, growing larger by the minute due to the hot, wet climate. The wealthy guy just about had it when the alluring actress shows up as pretty as ever. “I haven’t been hungry since I left,” she coyly says. He eagerly follows her to the mushrooms. He sees the writer is already chowing down, and starting to turn lumpy, but he gives in to his hunger and starts munching.

Matango! And dip, everyone!

“Oh, by the way,” she tells him, “you’ll become a mushroom, too.” But he doesn’t care because, as he eats the mushroom, a wave of euphoria comes over him, leading to even more flashbacks of scantily-clad women dancing in a nightclub.

Only two are left now, the professor and Maryann—sorry, I mean to say the professor’s girlfriend. He sees the boat the skipper sailed off in bobbing up and down offshore. He swims to it and finds a message written by the skipper: “I died at sea.” Wondering if the skipper wrote that before or after he kicked the chum-bucket, the professor heads back to the research vessel. More potato heads show up, and as he tears off one fungus-filled arm in his desperate struggle against them, they carry off his girlfriend to the magical mystery mushroom forest. He races to save her, but it’s too late; she’s already munching on a mushroom.

Matango! Dip and munch!

She smiles at him. He tries to drag her away from the really big mushrooms with arms and legs surrounding them, but to no avail. Eventually, he flees alone, back to the boat, and away from that hellish island. While there may be layers of metaphor and allegory lacing this story, I haven’t a clue as to what those might be. On the other hand, the weird color-spectrum of lighting, the mysterious and moody sets and ever-present fungus, and the surreal surrender to a mushroomy fate (rice pastry is used for the edible ones), all blend into an effectively off-beat and unsettling entry in the horror-fantasy genre that’s pure Lovecraftian in tone and mood.

So start heating up that Fondue pot now and grab a copy of Matango! You and your friends will be glad you did.

 

*Pop Quiz Answer: The H-Man (1958). 

Movie Review: Matango (1963)
Attack of the Mushroom People
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Movie Review: Dead Silence (2007)
She Can Hear You Scream

Zombos Says: Good

The integration of J-Horror’s ghost-styling with American Gothic picks up steam in Dead Silence. With a vengeful spirit ready to rip your tongue out if you scream, a cast of 101 nattily-dressed vent dummies, a decrepit theater, a cursed town with a dark secret, and classicallycreepy, Dark Shadows kind of art direction filled with stone gargoyles, swirling fog, rainy nights, and rustling curtains, director and co-writer James Wan almost pulls it off. Almost.

Little things are missing; like some good old common sense motivations in-between all the game-styled imagery, and better performances from Donnie Wahlberg as Detective Jim Lipton and Ryan Kwanten as Jamie Ashen. Wahlberg plays Lipton as the standard wise-ass, I’ve-got-my-eyes-on-you detective, and Kwanten should have staid home and let his wife go for the Chinese food.

Opening with a retro-styled Universal Studios logo, and a scratchy opening credits montage dramatically scored by Jonathan Goldsmith, the film hits all the right artistic notes. Sound, from the memorable music to the distortion and fadeout of all sound just before a supernatural event, is used to wonderful effect here. Like a William Castle gimmick, it heralds the arrival of Mary Shaw or Billy, her insufferable best-boy dummy. I half-expected to see a flashing “cover your mouth now” message at the bottom of the screen.

Then there’s the little ditty about Mary Shaw that’s repeated onscreen, reminiscent of Curt Siodmak’s 1941 The Wolf Man pseudo folk saying. It doesn’t quite have the roll-off-the-tongue rhyme of Siodmak’s, but it’s not too shabby.

All these elements combine to make a visually enjoyable, if not quite sensible story. It all begins with a rainy night and a large package delivered to Lisa and Jamie. When Jamie opens it, they find a really creepy dummy inside. Right, then. Jamie’s soon off to get some take-out even after both of them recall that whole Mary Shaw legend thingy that was used to frighten little kids in their home town of Ravens Fair.

Queue the thunder and lightning now, please. Lisa tosses a cover over Billy the dummy, but soon the dead silence comes and he’s tossing a cover over her — and, oops, she screams, so out comes her tongue in nicely done J-Horror fashion. When Jamie returns with the food, he suddenly remembers all about that Mary Shaw legend. Great timing there, Jamie.

01 With Detective Lipton not buying Jamie’s story about the legend, Jamie heads back to Ravens Fair to look for answers. Of course, instead of tossing that hideous reminder of his wife’s death in the trunk, he props the little guy up in the front passenger seat so Billy can enjoy the view. You just know that little creep’s eyes are going to move, too.

When Jamie hits Main Street, Ravens Fair is obviously a town on the skids and a place Lovecraft would call home. Jamie’s apple-red car stands out against the blue-tinted color that permeates the town — and the entire film — as he heads to his family’s estate. Barnabas Collins should have it so good. His family home is a Gothic mansion, flanked by gargoyles, fog, and inclement weather.

The meeting with his dad is brief and not very warm, and he declines to stay. He heads to the local Motor Inn, props Billy on a chair by the window, and nods off to sleep. Swear to god. You know what’s going to happen, right? Queue the dead silence as Mary Shaw’s corpse-like countenance (rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?) is glaring at him from behind a curtain.

He gathers his wits about him when the sound returns, and at the funeral for his wife, he meets the undertaker and his slightly daft wife Marion, who likes to hide from Mary Shaw in the crawlspace under the funeral parlor. She tells him to bury Billy pronto. Again. Apparently Mary Shaw had all of her dolls buried along with her. He drives to the cemetery, at night of course, and finds Billy’s tombstone. A little dead silence doesn’t stop him from burying Billy, but the little bugger refuses to stay buried.

Back at the Motor Inn, Lipton confronts Jamie and confiscates Billy, but in an incredible example of bad policing, Lipton, who took the room next to Jamie, leaves his door unlocked and Jamie takes Billy back and drives over to Henry, the undertaker, for a chat.

In a stylish flashback, we learn the story of how Mary Shaw performed at the old Guignol Theater on Lost Lake, got into a spat with an annoying kid at one of her performances, and was soon killed by angry townsfolk after the boy went missing. Judith Roberts as Mary Shaw is a classic monster in the making, and her Guignol Theater haunt is effectively imagined with lots of decay, cobwebs, and dark, secret places.

Henry’s information sends Jamie to the abandoned theater on Lost Lake. While he’s there, he discovers Mary Shaw’s rooms, and more about the boy that dissed Mary Shaw’s performance. Returning to his father’s home for answers, a phone call from Henry sends Jamie back to the Guignol Theater with Lipton in hot pursuit. Or was it Henry?

Both men confront each other, and Mary Shaw, in the well-paced thunder and lightning climax at the top of the old Guignol Theater. Will Mary Shaw tongue-lash the both of them, or will she finally get her comeuppance? And whose hand is up whose back as Jamie comes to a horrifying realization about his part in all this?

Filled with classic imagery and moody set-design that is the hallmark of Universal Studios horror, Dead Silence is an effectively creepy and entertaining romp with a new and memorable monster. Hopefully, they’ll put a little more commonsense storytelling in-between those imaginative scenes for the sequel and think of a more sensible ending, too.

But I’ll hold my tongue until then.

Movie Review: Dead Silence (2007)
She Can Hear You Scream
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Night of the Living Dead (1968)
When the Monsters Are Us

Zombos Says: Classic

“What is it about zombies?” asked Zombos. He put aside his cup.

“I’m not sure I follow you,” I said. Shadows from the long day drifted lazily on the floor of the solarium. I had been trimming the corpse plants and orchids while he sipped his late afternoon coffee. Philosophical musing can be a dangerous thing, especially when rattling around in a head like his with nothing to cushion its impact against the inside of his thick skull. The vision of a ball-bearing cracking the side of a glass sprang uppermost in my mind. I’d rather be a poor servant to a poor master then have to listen to Zombos’ philosophical ruminations, rare though they are.

“Who would have thought,” he continued, “that zombies, those rotting corpses prone to consuming mass quantities of, well, mostly living people, would provide such a large pile of compost to fertilize thought and discussion.”

“Take individualism or community in George Romero’s movies, for instance,” said Zombos. I accidentally snipped the rare marifasa lumina lupina in half. I wisely put down my shears as Zombos continued. A cold chill ran down my back as clouds blocked the sun and the complacent shadows on the solarium floor scattered to oblivion.

“Individualism does contribute to higher body counts in horror movies,” I said.

“Let me think. The zombies consume people, the people are themselves consumed by fear, which makes them ad hoc a social contract that, due to their individualism, they ineptly engineer. In the end, unable to become a living community that can defend itself against the more socially-bonded—but dead—growing community of zombies, the hasty and shaky social contract crumbles, leaving the dwindling living community to revert back to their ineffective individualistic states of actions, which backfire and they all end up being eaten in no time. I say, Zoc, good call on that one. It does appear that community is the better way to go when surrounded by zombie hordes.”

“Good evening,” said Uncle Fadrus, joining us. I poured a cup of coffee for him, relieved he would now take over the philosophical dialog with Zombos. I turned my attention back to trimming the plants.

“Thank you, Zoc. What happened to that beautiful marifasa orchid? You didn’t let Zombos trim it, did you?” He laughed. “Zimba is going to show me your wonderful Long Island shopping malls today.”

“Speaking of malls,” said Zombos, “that reminds me of the consumerism innuendo Romero plays with in Dawn of the Dead.”

“Yes, that’s quite an image, isn’t it? The dead dying to get in, though they don’t know why, and the living just dying to shop.” Fadrus was also an ardent horror movie fan. “I suppose if I were doomed by a zombie apocalypse I’d want to be holed up in large shopping mall. Go down shopping, that’s for me. Better a mall in Texas, however, as I’d like to have sufficient ammo and guns, too. May as well make a good fight of it. Have you thought about the paradox inherent in all this zombie business?”

“What paradox?” asked Zombos.

“Death, my friend. The grim blackness of no return. The great question mark of life. The paradox is why we embrace death’s imagery so avidly where zombies are concerned. Posit this: which is worse, death being the end of all things for you, or death leading to an endless, consumerist, mindless need, never satisfied? Made worse by partial memories of your living life gnawing at you while you rot away forever.”

Zombos rubbed his chin. “Heidegger’s angst, eh?”

“A little, perhaps.”

“I think I understand,” said Zombos. “You mean the value of personality when it no longer exists, or partially exists in another form that is more alien than familiar. Like a person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease or mental disease. What of the soul, then? Is it there, where does it go? How does it survive the physical and mental battering of life? That uncertainty can be overwhelming.”

The long day turned grayer. Zimba’s voice called to her uncle, and soon they were off to the malls. Zombos sat quietly in his chair, looking into the dusk, hoping to see well beyond it. I poured another cup of coffee for him, and continued to trim the orchids as long as the fading light permitted.

 

The year 1968 was filled with tumultuous change. Political and social unrest divided the country, and the violent change brought about by assassinations, riots, and a war that provided no avenue for victory would alter American culture and thinking in ways both better and worse in the years to come. The horror movies at the box office included The Conqueror Worm with Vincent Price, Rosemary’s Baby with Mia Farrow, Dracula Has Risen From the Grave with Christopher Lee, and Night of the Living Dead with zombies.

Lots of them.

In 1968 I was twelve years old. At the time, I didn’t realize how important that movie was and still is, or how it would change forever the pantheon of fictional monsters to create a sub-genre that would provide the fodder for legions of undead, flesh-eating ghouls to roam across the landscape in countless movies. Zombies have been parodied, satirized, gory-ized, psychoanalyzed, sexed up, sexed down, and alternately made mindless and mindful ever since, but it all popped from those rotting heads in 1968.

I wasn’t prepared for the sudden turn in cinematic horror from “rubber monsters, cardboard gravestones or hands groping in the shadows” as Alan Jones describes it in his book, The Rough Guide to Horror Movies. Up until then, I had watched in cozy comfort as man-made monsters, vampires, and various aquatic wild-life tried to wreak havoc in an ordered universe; only to be stopped in the end by the triumph of scientific reason, religious belief, and when all else failed, a pointy piece of wood, or the trusty military might of the army, navy, or air force.

But director George Romero and writer John Russo changed all that. No longer could the monster be contained, controlled, or avoided by day. The ordered universe was no longer neat and tidy, and it refused to be subject to man’s laws or scientific codexes or heroic deeds.

And the monsters were us!

We were mindlessly devouring each other and infecting each other in gruesome ways in a suddenly nihilistic universe governed by godless quantum shifts.

I first watched Night of the Living Dead at an evening showing at the Benson Theater in Brooklyn. Afterward, the long walk home was fraught with shadows of zombies lurching from every doorway and side street. For the next two weeks I took baths at night with the door locked. I became one of those kids Roger Ebert wrote about when he watched the movie for the first time, in a theater packed with kids. I don’t think we really knew what hit us. No ghouls before this had eaten people, leaving a bloody mess behind that could stand up and start walking. This was little girl ghouls killing and eating their parents. Worst of all, even the hero got killed. Real terror was felt in movie theaters across America. We weren’t prepared for this. Frankenstein was undead, but at least he didn’t go around eating people. Dracula was undead, but he just sucked the life blood out of you without chewing a body part or two. These ghouls were next-door-neighbor ghouls, they were unrelenting monsters beyond all hope of redemption. And religious icons, voodoo rituals, wolfbane, military might, and scientific knowledge were powerless against them.

You bet we were terrified.

Much has been written on the racial and cultural overtones—or supposed overtones—in the movie, even though Romero and  Russo may not have been fully cognizant of them at the time. In Pretend We’re Dead: Capitalist Monsters in American Pop Culture, Annalee Newitz builds a solid case for drawing parallels between Night of the Living Dead and DW Griffith’s 1915 film, Birth of a Nation :“Night is in many ways an updated version of Birth, except this time around the upwardly mobile black man is the film’s hero, rather than its locus of evil and terror… Ben is a black man with power in a white-dominated society; he is also, like Silas, ultimately destroyed for it.”

Take away the racial overtones and capitalistic corporate undertones that permeate the film (how many cubical zombies surround you?) and what you’re still left with is palpable horror. The horror of the unknown suddenly reaching out for you, unreasoning horror that knows no surcease for sorrow, no pitying the fool, and no god to succor you. It’s horror twisting your daily routine into a hopeless knot, leaving you with no sun-will-come-out-tomorrow to look forward to because Little Orphan Annie would be a zombie, too.

The movie starts with Johnny and Barbra, brother and sister, driving to a bleak and deserted cemetery to lay a wreath on their father’s grave. The eerie, cobbled together music, bits and pieces of existing music were used, warns you this will not be a familiar horror movie. When Johnny’s “they’re coming to get you Barbra” joke backfires, the action quickly escalates from the cemetery to the bleak, isolated house in the woods. Black and white, grainy texture, and the closeness of the scenes exacerbate the “realness” and seriousness of the walking corpses congregating at the small house.

But it’s not only a practical refuge; it represents the American dream of home and security and the happiness you’re supposed to get from attaining it. Romero films the house in noir style with ominous shadows lurking in every corner and stark contrasts accentuating the dire situation. This house is not a safe haven. It’s a potential death trap, slowly surrounded by lumbering corpses looking for their next meal. At least with vampires you have to invite them in before they can attack.

Barbra meets Ben at the house. Ben is the only African American in the film, and he has to contend with an all-white zombie jamboree outside, and more distraught white people hiding out in the basement of the house. He happens to be the only rational, cool under fire individual in the group, too. He forages around to find whatever he can to board up the place, all the while dealing with an increasingly catatonic Barbra, and a really annoying white guy named Harry, whose wife and daughter are holed up in the basement, along with a young couple. Harry’s daughter was bitten by one of the undead, so you know where that is going to lead; but back in 1968, we didn’t know. It’s when Barbra climbs the stairs and discovers the home-owner, or what’s left of her, that I and every other kid realized this was not going to be a fun ride. There would be no safe thrills and chills here. No Ed Wood undead Tor Johnsons or Vampiras shambling about. The situation grew grimmer by the minute and there was no Van Helsing in site, no Castle gimmick to chuck popcorn at.

Harry’s one great idea is to stay locked in the basement. Ben wants to fortify the house, and have avenues of escape if necessary. Outside, the zombies gather in greater numbers, waiting, while the two men bicker and fight for control of an uncontrollable situation.

Throughout this ordeal, key icons of control and salvation come into play: the radio, the television, and the gun. More than once “we’ll be all right until someone comes to rescue us,” is spoken. In today’s post-Katrina world, we know differently; but back in 1968 we didn’t know.

Romero closes in on the Zenith radio as the news (horror host Bill “Chilly Billy” Cardille plays a field reporter) describes the growing civil disaster as a mass murder spree by persons unknown, and the bodies of victims are found to have been partially eaten.

I really wanted to go for popcorn then, but I was too afraid to leave my theater seat.  I wonder how many kids pissed their pants that day?

A television set is soon discovered, and everyone eagerly gathers round to listen and watch as newscasters discuss what the hell is happening with concerned scientists, the puzzled military, and local good-old boy militias. A humorous, and still timely scene has the news reporter hounding a scientist and military commander leaving a high-level Washington meeting, only to have the scientist warn about the seriousness of the situation, while the military person  downplays it with a “we don’t really know yet” attitude. Boy, how often have we heard that even today?

The television provides an anchor of technology in a world gone mad, and they cling to it for succor; as the mother observes, as long as there’s “some kind of communication, authorities will send help.” Pretty soon the situation escalates to the point where the newscaster reverses his first recommendation to stay put, and tells listeners to head to a safe location near them as soon as possible. The National Guard protected locations are flashed at the bottom of the television screen as Ben devises a plan to take the truck and gas up from a pump just a few feet away. There’s just the problem with those two dozen or so zombies standing in the way to be taken care of. Tom and Judy, the young couple, argue over why Tom has to be the one to help Ben. Tom puts it rather well when he says “it’s not like a wind passing through. We’ve got to do something and fast.” He hops in the truck to drive it to the gas pump, while Ben wards off the undead with a flaming table leg used as a torch. Judy decides at the last minute to join them, but things go from bad to worse when the truck catches fire. Tom and Judy wind up barbecued in the ensuing fireball as Ben hustles back to the house, only to be locked out by Harry. He breaks the door down to get back inside, and shoots Harry for almost getting him killed.

Now comes the Tom and Judy a la carte scene, and it is here that horror films were forever changed. In a graphically gory scene by 1968 standards, the zombies reach into the truck and grab a hand-full of roasted human remains, then chow down in stark, nauseating close-ups. I was glad I didn’t go for that popcorn now. With the taste of human flesh in their mouths, the zombies head for the house and start breaking in. Mom retreats to the cellar, where she is promptly killed by her daughter with a trowel, in a brutal scene that was quite shocking for me and the other kids to witness. The fact that she was snacking on her dead dad before she kills her mom was also another taboo broken. Barbra, in yet another taboo-breaking scene, is pulled through the door to her doom by her now undead brother, the one person she apparently relied on for her protection and security.

And Ben, who did not want to retreat to the basement, now has no other option and locks himself in the basement.

He has to shoot mom and dad as they become hungry undead themselves. Society and its precepts fall apart as the zombies fill the house, looking for their next living victim. When morning comes, Ben is still alive, but in an ironic twist of faith, his rescuers, the all-white militia patrolling the woods to kill zombies, kill him with a bullet to the head in the mistaken belief that he is a zombie. So no one survives; not even the upwardly mobile and educated Ben.

That was a real downer.

I left the theater that evening shaken, and no longer secure in the commonplace. George Romero had brought ghastly horror home, both figuratively and literally, and the course of future horror films would follow the same path, to the dismay of parents and censors in the decades since then, and probably for the decades to come. Night of the Living Dead stands as a classic horror film because it deals with social and cultural themes as they existed in 1968, and more importantly, as they still exist today, but didn’t realize it at the time.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)
When the Monsters Are Us
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The Call of Cthulhu (2005)

Rain, rain everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Rain, rain everywhere, and all the roads did shrink. At least that’s the way it felt as Zombos and I hustled along the Cross Bronx Expressway in a mad attempt to reach Chiller Theatre Expo before the dealer’s rooms closed. It was raining heavily, and we were making slow progress over to New Jersey. Even the New Jersey drivers were driving with caution in the deluge. (Note to self: check list of signs of the coming apocalypse. I believe ‘New Jersey drivers driving cautiously’ falls between ‘when hell freezes over’, and ‘belief that global warming is as real as Big Foot’.)

The Elder Gods were with us, however, and we made it with a little over an hour to spare. Going at such a late hour is rather beneficial as the dealer’s rooms are actually strollable. Zombos dashed off to find Zacherley, and I carried along his list of things to pick up, as usual.

One item on the list was the DVD, The Call of Cthulhu. This silent movie is a competent showing of enthusiastic amateur filmmaking that brings H.P. Lovecraft’s classic short story to cinematic life.

It is an intriguing challenge: to create an appealing black and white silent film for today’s iPoded, simstim-headed, hypertechno-affectualized audience drowning in audio and visual overload. Director Andrew Lehman and a cast of dedicated actors and creative production people tackle this challenge head-on.

The start of the movie is a fun homage to Universal Studios’ 1929 globe circled by biplane logo, combined with a retro-look text that evokes the opening credits of their classic horror films. The onscreen intertitles, used to convey dialog and narrate story points, are done well with exacting period detail.

While I can quibble with some things, like merchant marine sailors wearing clean, pressed clothes, and spotlessly white and uncrumpled caps, and everybody — except for the Cthulhu swamp worshippers — looking so darn clean-cut and unrumpled, the film has an art film sensibility. It ably captures the slowly building terror of Lovecraft’s fatalistic theme as no other, more expensive production has.

This is a credit to the actors, whose performances are greatly enhanced by the lack of dialog sound, and superbly aided by the moody score. As I watched this film, I was reminded of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Here, the use of close-ups and tightly framed shots, along with an occasional  dutch shot (horizon not parallel to the frame), make creative use of the low-budgeted sets. The island, where the ill-fated seamen meet the big Squidworth, with it’s expressionistic, starkly angular landscaping like the streets where Dr. Caligari and Cesare prowled, is imaginative and creepy.

The Tale of Inspector Legrasse segment of the film, which corresponds to the same section in the short story, is nicely handled on that one shoestring budget. David Mersault is a great choice to play Legrasse. His look and manner are spot-on, and the mist-shrouded swamp encounter with the “indescribable horde of human abnormality” worshippers of Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones, is an exciting mix of scoring, model and greenscreen work, along with the full-scale set design. The only fault I can find with the scene is that it lacks kinetic energy in the climactic fight scenes, both within the separate scenes themselves, and in how the scenes are intercut. What should be a bloody knock down and drag out affair comes off a little luke-warm. The lack of combatants — there’s that small budget again — also affects the intensity of the confrontation.

The climactic confrontation between Cthulhu and the ill-fated sailors, The Madness from the Sea segment of the film corresponding to the same section in the short story, is another fine example of doing much with little. Again, model and greenscreen work, and imaginative, full-scale sets combine to realize the otherworldliness of the alien god and his “hideous monolith-crowned citadel” jutting up from the sea. However, the use of stop-motion animation to portray Cthulhu does not work well here, and should have been eschewed for a more shadowy, mostly hidden from view perspective of the thing that

…cannot be described — there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order.

The documentary on the DVD portrays the tenacity, angst, and artistic jury-rigging that made this film a reality. It also provides an informative introduction to the Lovecraftianites that would not let a miniscule budget stand in their creative way. The Call of Cthulhu is an entertaining and faithful cinematic version of the classic story, and required viewing by any Lovecraft aficionado.

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The Messengers (2007)

the Messengers Zombos Says: Very Good

There is nothing worse than having skeletons in your closet, unless you have vengeance-seeking dead people in your cellar, too. In The Messengers, both skeletons and dead people come together in a fusion of Japanese Horror and American Gothic images for its effective PG-13 scares.

The tragedy–there is always an instigating tragedy in J-Horror– sets the tone for mayhem to come as one family reluctantly moves to the cellar of their old, dark farmhouse, stuck out in the middle of nowhere–with no coffee shop in screaming distance–of a North Dakota sunflower farm.

Reluctantly taking up residence in the gloomy house is the Solomon family. Something happened in the city that has caused a lot of tension between them and they need a place to work things out. There’s something to be said for the peace and quiet of the countryside to work things out, but since this is a horror movie they don’t get it.

The original tenants, now bluish-gray with morbidity set in, play with Ben (Evan Turner) in the dead of night and get on Jess’ (Kristen Stewart) nerves. Their clickety-clack scampering along walls and ceilings, and annoying floating, gallows-style, above the floor ruins the peace and quiet for Jess. A nasty black stain on Ben’s bedroom wall keeps getting bigger no matter what mom does. This J-Horror imagery works well with the fusty Gothic farmhouse and the ever-present black crows hovering around it (like the pigeons in Pigeons From Hell). A nerve-rattling scene has Jess being dragged by an unseen force down the long hallway and through the open cellar door, then grabbed at by cadaverous arms shooting out of the darkness behind her, trying to pull her down. Old, dark farmhouses have scary cellars just perfect for scenes like this.
More subtle American Gothic elements move to the forefront when Burwell (John Corbett) shows up at the farm.

Toting a shotgun to scare away the increasing number of crows, he stays on to help bring in the crop of sunflowers. Those skeletons keep rattling as Jess tries to make her family believe in them. John lends a sympathetic ear, but Jess realizes she must find out what happened to the previous family–the ones doing the rattling–in order to save her own. While she goes off to find help, her Mom gets to intimately know more about the large black stain on the wall, and John confronts his past. Both families eventually meet, though I’d hold off on the dip and chips.

If you’re looking for gore and sprays of arterial blood go elsewhere. The Messengers is better than that. Using shock cuts, good acting, and enough time to unfold the terror along with the tragedy, it delivers less bodies with more suspense.

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Christmas Evil (1980)

Zombos Says: Very Good (but weird)

Okay, sing along with me now to the tune of Jingle Bells: “Run like hell, Run like hell, Screaming all the way. Oh what terror it is to hide, as whack’o-crazy killing Santa comes your way. Hey!”

Christmas Evil, or as originally titled by the director, You Better Watch Out, is a weirdly magical holiday film filled with enchantment; once you get past the whack o’ crazy amateur Santa dealing death from his bag of deadly toys, and the torch-wielding neighborhood villagers chasing him, and the depressing Jolly Dream toy factory, which may remind you of your own place of employment.

When did you find out that Santa Claus was not real? Hopefully it was at a later age than poor Harry Stadling (Brandon Maggart). He finds out the hard way during Christmas Eve while young and still impressionable; and that impression left him yearning for the real Santa and the real Christmas Spirit. His cramped apartment is filled with Christmas memorabilia and he sleeps in Christmas pajamas and a red cap (nicely trimmed with white fur).

His obsession colors his life the wrong way. He’s lonely, creepy, and spies on the neighborhood kids with binoculars, writing down all the nasty or nice things the kids do in his Good Boys and Girls and Bad Boys and Girls notebooks. But this Christmas season is different. His fetish for red gets the better of him, and soon he’s trying on white beards, and sewing a holly-jolly Santa suit; he even paints his van with a sleigh. He desperately wishes he had “super magic”, and since this is a holiday horror movie you know what usually happens to people who wish for things.

Harry starts going off the deep end of the skating rink and stalks a local boy who is really really naughty. After giving him a good scare, Harry continues his descent into craziness. With success under his big black belt, he molds metal toy soldiers with long, sharp swords.

He reluctantly attends his company’s Christmas party, but quickly leaves, finds a few good, strong laundry bags, and fills them with the company’s cheaply made toys and dirt for bad boys and girls. He dons his white beard and loses what little hold he has on reality when he stares at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Soon he’s dashing through the snow in his sleigh-painted van. He starts off jolly enough, and really wants to play the part of Santa Claus, but like that Christmas when Santa didn’t bring me the one special gift I wanted so much, Harry doesn’t get what he wants either. When he shows up for midnight mass the snow runs red with blood as a few of the pious commit the cardinal sin of insulting Santa. The art-house pace switches with this shock moment, picking up as fast as the confused Harry runs away. He stumbles onto a party and is invited in. Much fun is had by all, but in a chilling scene, he scares the dickens out of the kids with a warning not to be naughty, then cracks into maniacal laughter.

With his Santa psychosis now in full drive, he starts treating his van as if it were a real sleigh, yelling for Dasher and Dancer to hurry it along. He also climbs up to a roof and tries to go down the chimney and gets stuck in the process. Getting into the house the usual way he happily puts gifts under the tree, then happily kills a co-worker that’s been naughty with a Christmas tree star-topper.

With his nicely sewn Santa suit looking pretty soiled after such a busy night, Harry returns to the Jolly Dream toy factory while the police, in a humorous scene, hold Santa Claus line-ups as they round up all the motley sidewalk Santas, looking for the killer. Wonderfully framed scenes follow Harry as he walks down a dark street lined with brightly-lit Christmas decorations. When he stops to give presents to beaming children, their parents confront Harry and one parent flips open a switchblade knife. Harry high-tails it but the villagers — I mean parents — chase Harry through the streets, carrying torches. The chase is ludicrous, directed seriously, and works given the bizarre tone of the film.

The surreal ending is sort of like Art Carney’s Night of the Meek episode of the Twilight Zone, and has Harry finally getting his Christmas wish in an unexpected way. You’ll rub your eyes in disbelief when you see it.

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Slither (2006)

Slither movie posterZombos Says: Very Good

“Well, Falstaff, how is the diet going?” asked Zimba.

“As well as to be expected, Madam,” I replied. She could be so cruel at times.

She looked at my waist, smiled demurely, and walked away. I suppose I could cut out the Dunkaccinos every morning, I thought, as I sipped my extra-large Dunkaccino. At least I did not have the weight problem that Grant Grant had in Slither. That whole alien-slug parasite infestation thing can be so demoralizing to one’s self-image.

Slither is a well-crafted mix of computer animation, traditional puppetry, rubber and gook special effects, and slimy, horrific make-up artistry that, combined with a witty, fast-paced script and bread and butter cinematography, is a fun and disgusting romp at the same time.

This 1950s-styled monster story breezes along with colorful small-town characters, headed by a self-deprecating sheriff played by Nathan Fillion, and the unpleasantness of an alien-slug-in-the-meteor invasion that has detrimental effects on the local yokels.

What sets this horror film apart from so many of the half-baked, “hey, let’s snuff those teenagers again in all sorts of gruesome, but oddly enjoyable ways” cinema of the helpless films that have inundated the theaters lately, is its skillful approach to the technical elements that make a good monster movie, combined with a whimsical splash-it to-the-walls sense of gore. And it leaves out the over-used, angst-ridden teenage gore-fodder, and instead gives us a cast of seasoned actors who expertly chew up the scenery just as the scenery starts chewing them up.

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The Magic of The Prestige (2006)

The Prestige movie posterZombos Says: Very Good

Like a well-performed routine of cups and balls, director Christopher Nolan and writer Jonathan Nolan manipulate the nonlinear twists and turns of Christopher Priest’s novel, The Prestige, pausing here and there just long enough to make sure we are watching closely until the revelatory climax. Steampunk science-fiction merges with Victorian-era stage magic in this engaging story of rival magicians striving to upstage one another in a dangerously escalating battle of wits, secrets, and one-upmanship bravado.

Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden’s (Christian Bale) obsessions for their magical art, and for one teleportation illusion in particular–the Transported Man–provide the drama in this story set against the backdrop of turn-of-the-century London. Mingling the social horrors of workhouses–where little girls could be sent  for want of money and family–with the wonderment of stage magicians, the headliners of their day, performing their pseudo-scientific and preternatural miracles to the amazement and delight of their Industrialization-era audiences.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie posterZombos Says: Very Good

In the cinema of the helpless, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning reaches a new benchmark in unrelenting, stinking-bloody-abattoir-of-pain, horror. I winced at the slimy grimy blood-soaked chaos in Speak No Evil; and I squirmed in my seat during the guest suite scenes in Hostel. But I became physically ill while watching the particularly nightmarish scene in the basement, where Leatherface methodically, silently, carves a Thanksgiving turkey–except it was not a turkey he was carving up and it wasn’t a day to be thankful for.

Perhaps the grainy hand-held camera scenes and tight close-ups in the film made me a little queasy to begin with. Or perhaps it was the way the camera lingers while dark, syrupy blood pours from mangled bodies, soaking into the ground, into the carpeting. I wondered how they were going to get those stains out of the carpet. They are the Hewitt family; an insane bunch of cannibalistic rednecks always playing with their dinner. I wondered if they cared about the stains at all.

Tcmtb06

It is 1969. Two friends are taking one long, slow trip to the war in Vietnam by way of Texas. Along for the ride are their girlfriends, a few desires, and impending doom. The Hewitt family has been going through a series of setbacks as their town and way of life disintegrates around them. The meat packing plant, the town’s primary source of jobs is shut down and townsfolk have nowhere else to go but away. The Hewitts refuse to leave, and young–and really huge for his age–Tommy (Andrew Bryniarski), their disfigured and misfit adopted son, refuses to stop pounding and slicing meat, whether bovine or two-legged kind.

When told he has to leave the meat packing plant, he expresses his unhappiness by wielding a sledge hammer in a brutal scene of shattered bones, muscle, and skull. Young Tommy has found a new hobby.

Tcmtb03His stepdad has found a new hobby also. Seems the last sheriff had to leave his position rather suddenly, so Hoyt takes a fancy to the badge–after he cleans the blood off it. R. Lee Ermey plays Hoyt Hewitt with such malicious evil glee he  steals the movie. Armed with a shotgun, badge, and dark sunglasses, he’s one determined patriarch who needs to put food on the table. After that nasty business in Korea that kept him alive when food was scarce, he and Tommy seem to be a match made in hell for getting that food.

In a text book example of why you should never take your eyes off the road while driving at high speed when being chased by a gun-toting biker chick, both the Vietnam-bound friends and their girlfriends are brought to the attention of Sheriff Hoyt. He takes them home to meet the family.

The truly scary thing about dysfunctional families in horror films is that they always function well together–in that insane, clannish us against them kind of way. Mama Hewitt and Uncle Monty (Terrence Evans) go along with Hoyt and Tommy. When bodies and body pieces start piling up, they just make soup and lots of it. Poor Uncle Monty is the only one to get his comeuppance in a sudden and graphically grotesque chainsaw game of long and short, but this is the prequel, of course, to New Line Cinema’s 2003 version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Tcmtb04 In Tobe Hooper’s 1974 film that helped usher in the slasher sub-genre, the battle between the cannibalistic clan and their prospective victims was shown mostly by implication and without explicit gore. It was the non-stop, frenetic cat and mouse pacing that shifted the genre into a new direction. In Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, the frenetic cat and mouse pacing is here, but now combined with lingering and quite disturbing scenes of very explicit gore. If it’s dead, it’s red: if it’s not dead, it’s also red. Lots of red here, oozing all over the place. According to Wikipedia, 17 scenes were cut from the final film to drop it from NC-17 to R. I think they missed a few.

A key scene in the 1974 film, which is not duplicated in the 2003 remake is included here: the family get-together for dinner. It is a macabre tableau where Mama Hewitt feeds Uncle Monty with a spoon, and one unconscious victim, one victim that’s lost her mind–along with most of her teeth–and another victim have to watch their friends get bouillabaissed; only this time it is not played with black humor. Nothing in this film is played with black humor.

Tcmtb02

Being the beginning of Leatherface, we get to see Tommy putting on his new face–graphically. The squishing ripping sounds are quite vibrant. His first use of the chainsaw is also depicted with verve.

The ominous score highlights the mayhem and the acting is top-notch, feeding off R. Lee Ermey’s sadistic Sheriff Hoyt. If you buy popcorn, I recommend you eat it before sitting down. You won’t touch it while watching this film. You will also never ever be able to listen to another rendition of “Hush Little Baby, Don’t You Cry” without cringing.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Beginning (2006)
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