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Magazine Morgue

Captain Company Warrior Battle Jacket

I may be wrong, but I don't think this really was "perfect for everywhere wear." You'd have to be pretty spaced out to wear this to school or the disco. Just make it easy on yourself and paste a kick my ass sticker to your butt and save the expense.

Then again, I'd go all Battlestar Galactica for a chance to wear this at a sci fi convention. Geeky chicks dig geeky older guys in space adventure battle jackets, right? Get your whole family to dress up, too. How cool would that be? Beats going all Klingon mug-ugly and anti-social*.

(*Not that there's anything wrong with that so please don't beat me up again, okay? I promise not to joke about your Bat'leth, even though you seriously look silly swinging it like for real. Know what I mean? I never have these problems at horror conventions.)

Battle Jacket

Captain Company 6 Foot Frankenstein Wall Poster

I had this 6 foot, full color Frankenstein wall poster back in the 1960s, when it first appeared. Along with the Dracula one, they stood guard over my precious monsterkid possessions,  cleverly displayed all over my bedroom.

With comic books and magazines overflowing from my closet, and my bureau drawers crammed with socks, shorts, and those naughty Vampirella magazines from Warren hidden under them, I'd say I had one of the best boy's bedrooms ever. Toss in that long ago summer's surprise of getting a Sony Trinitron Color TV and, hell yes, it was.

I miss it. Then again, my wife would most certainly say I never left it.

Now, I know you purists will go all Glenn Beckish, crying  "it's not Frankenstein but the Monster!" Okay, sure. Who cares? Did House of Frankenstein have a Frankenstein in it? No, technically it didn't; not if you're only counting his sons. But it did have the Frankenstein Monster, so there. I rest my case.

I can't believe they gave two options for ordering this piece of "Famous Monsters history." Silly. For a hundred bucks you better damn well open it and make sure it's in pristene condition, and then send it by batmail, too.

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Captain Company Hollywood Masks!

Sure, these masks were cool to wear on Halloween–for about an hour. Then the stifling heat and discomfort would make the novelty a fading memory. But we really didn't buy these super deluxe, heavy rubber masks to wear once a year, did we? Nah. We bought them to display in our rooms. And play dress-up monster in front of the mirror.

That Mole Guy was the damn hardest to dress up half-way decently for. At least for me.

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Captain Company Guillotine With Victim

Harmless Fun? Sure, it's only plastic. Cheap thrills? For only 98¢ it was a bargain.

Just flick a switch and down the blade came to lob off the victim's head, again and again. Did it start a chorus of angry parents chanting "off with Aurora's head!" Sadly, yes. Any idiot who thought whacking off tiny plastic heads from tiny plastic bodies could lead to moral decay obviously missed the point entirely: it was simply "a wonderful ornament for your desk or tabletop."

Now, what would make it truly sickening would be to put in a sound chip so the victim pleads for his life, then WHACK!!, add a nice splatty sound cutting of his screams, ending in a plop and swish-roll into the basket for a grand finale.

Wait a mo', what am I saying? That would be fantastic! Screw the glow parts in the reissue.

Hell, if they can sell those tasteless miniature toilets with their flushing sounds, I can't see why not. Moebius, you listening?

Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors Guillotine made monsterkids deliriously happy and their parents delirious. The uproar put a halt to Aurora's other potential entries in the series: the Electric Chair, the Rack, and the Hanging Tree.

Those would have been nifty desk ornaments, too. Hey, Moebius…

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Captain Company Grow Live Monsters
And Addams Family Haunted House

When you think of it, Famous Monsters of Filmland's Captain Company was the Amazon.com for monsterkids, back in the day. Here's hoping that the new FM gets past the 'clothing thing' and branches out into more daring and exciting merchandise for young and old alike…

The Addams Family Haunted House model kit from Aurora was always a favorite for me. I must have bought 3 or 4 of these things originally (okay, sure, my model building skills suck big time), and now I've got the reissues (wisely unassembled this time) in my monsterkid collection. The glow kit and  ghosts addition versions are splendid, too.

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I really miss my Grow Live Monsters. The graphics on those colorful monster cards were simply awesome to behold. It took quite a bit of gumption for me to paste the grass seeds (cha-cha-cah Chea Pet!) onto the cards (and spoil all that alien terror), but once I did, the green hair effect was sublime.

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On Open Letters and Cans of Worms

Dick-cheney-robot-heart-weekly-world-news Chuck Norris Ate My Baby wrote about the tiff over Let’s Get Dangerous’ Open Letter to Gorezone, which appears to not have been received all that well. I’m surprised, however, that an offensive position has been returned, instead of addressing the points of Jamie’s critical opinion expressed in his open letter. To call its contents defamatory and slanderous is stretching things a tad silly. Here’s the open letter so you can make up your own mind. Let me know what you think with your comments.

Not to kick Jamie any more, but his grammar needed a bit of proofing, too (you Brits are weird with grammar). I’d like to see Gorezone (and readers of Gorezone) respond to his critical assessment regarding this one issue. If any of you have read the issue, can you corroborate or disagree with Jamie’s critique? Civilly.

Here’s Jamie’s Open Letter To Gorezone (with some additional commas, typos corrected, and my personal observations in bolded italics sprinkled here and there. One last note: it is rather ironic that a blog called Let’s Get Dangerous actually lives up to its name.

Congrats on that Jamie.

 

“Dear GoreZone Magazine,

“Firstly, well done for having a glossy and fairly nice looking magazine that has managed to stay afloat during a climate almost designed to make just that very difficult. It is definitely an achievement that a niche magazine has kept on keeping on, and I salute that.

“I first bought GoreZone about a year, maybe a year and a half, ago when the mag was still in its relative infancy and I was thoroughly disappointed (I did the same thing and felt a little disappointment: just not my cup of tea really). So I decided I would stick to Fango. But then yesterday, I saw the mag in a shop in Manchester and spotted a review of Enzo Castellari’s Bronx Warriors movies. So I figured I would give it another whirl.

“Now, I am not one of these guys who gets all heated about grammar and spelling but come on, this is just ridiculous (okay, I thought you said you weren’t the type to get all heated about grammar?). I’m assuming that none of your articles get proofread at all as the level of grammar and spelling really is atrocious. Which is something that needs to be rectified if you are going to continue calling yourself “The world’s most upmarket horror entertainment magazine” (bit of a jump here, but I’ll stay mum: still just expressing concern, not slander). Basic spelling and grammar are an absolute must for any professional-looking publication, and when you skip on it it makes you look like a bunch of amateurs. And if some Mary Whitehouse type were to pick up the magazine as fodder for her latest crusade against people having bloody fun then she would probably think the horror community is a bunch of uneducated degenerates fixated on big boobs (yet people still read the Weekly World News: go figure*).

“And so in lies my main problem with GoreZone: I don’t like that you assume that all horror fans want to see bikinied-up girls flaunting it around (dear Gorezone: Jamie’s on his own with this one). I’m a red-blooded male gorehound who loves the ladies, but when I pick up a horror magazine I want to read about what gory flicks are coming soon and about classic genre flicks that get our jugulars pumping. If I am honest the reviews are well written for the most part, and the features go into some level of depth which is good. Now just sort out the content.

“Females are maligned in this genre we love as pure eye-candy, or examples of pure evil (I agree, but it sells movies and issues because enough males want to see it). This is the most progressive genre in the world (have you seen the DVD shelves, lately?), the genre that showed women can be heroes with films like the Night Of The Living Dead remake, but even though people are striving to make something more of the genre, other people (such as yourselves) are dragging it back down (an argumentative stretch here: which people are striving for what? Get your notes ready). For example, in your Christa Campbell VS Joe Bloggs piece, the question “Are big breasts accessory or necessity?” is thoroughly unnecessary, and Christa’s answer pretty much set the women’s movement back god knows how far “The bigger the better no? You have to get their attention somehow…” (sadly, she’s right, whatever we dislike about it: my question is, was this intended as a satirical article?)

“It just really seems like “the world’s most upmarket horror entertainment magazine” is Nuts for horror fans (or even the celebrity obsessed Heat), as opposed to “Vogue for horror fans” as you have printed on your cover.

“Now I’m no prude, I love the movies of Fred Olen Ray, Jess Franco, Russ Meyer and Jean Rollin but with Women In Horror Recognition Month on the horizon, lets just try and remember that there is more to women than lumps of fat on their chests (damnit, okay, but it won’t be easy: I’ll second the notion. Oh, wait, the month’s over!). Be as progressive as the genre (still not seeing that progressive genre yet) allows, and focus more on the horror that all your readers love (you can’t presume to know what all of Gorezone’s readers would like) as opposed to the scantily-clad ladies (which I assume appeals to at least a percentage of your readers). Imagine what could be accomplished by a truly “upmarket” horror publication from the UK, that focused on movies and the genre rather than the interchangeable commodity that are actors (I don’t think actors would like that sentiment: they work hard at horror, too.) that would truly be an achievement!

“So GoreZone please: more horror, less half-naked girls (again, dear Gorezone, this is Jamie’s personal request only, and he did say less, not none)
Regards,
Dangerous Jamie”

*Just so we’re clear, I find Weekly World News a hoot, though I try not to read it in public.

Book Review: Monsters From the Vault Special Edition
Kharis Unearthed!

Kharis mummy 

Zombos Says: Very Good

Come the casting of Lon Chaney in The Mummy's Tomb, and the Universal legend of Kharis truly came alive–both on the screen and the back lot.

Indeed, once 'The Screen's Master Character Creator' was under that mask and inside that costume, true horror ran amok at Universal City. Forsaking tana leaf tea for vodka (hidden inside the suit and sipped through a straw), the Chaney Mummy drunkenly rampaged through the rest of the series–genuinely terrifying leading ladies, dangerously attacking fellow actors, vociferously claiming the Mummy mask gave him an allergy, and angrily bitching about his costume to anyone who'd listen (Greg Mank, Kharis Unearthed!).


Monsters From the Vault magazine has released Kharis the Mummy from his celluloid tomb in their first Special Edition: Kharis Unearthed! Profusely illustrated with sharp photographs that show every three thousand year old wrinkle and dusty bandage, and effusively written by Gregory Mank, Mummy fans will savor this superlative look into one of Universal's least appreciated–but one of their most recognizable–monsters. Who hasn't dressed up as the mummy for Halloween?

What started as a year-long quest to assemble the best photographs of Kharis turned into a wonderful homage to the four films that launched–more like lurched, really–his terror into movie theaters for audiences who, to this day, either deride or cherish the ambling Mummy as he slurps tana tea under the guidance of the high priests of Karnak, the real villains of this series, and slowly stalks his victims–conveniently always too paralyzed with fear to escape the death grip of his one good arm.

Each film is addressed by Mank, who provides wonderful anecdotes regarding Tom Tyler's The Mummy's Hand, and Lon Chaney's turn at the bandages in The Mummy's Tomb, The Mummy's Ghost, and The Mummy's Curse. Mank's enthusiasm and informed observations make me want to rediscover this series, especially director Le Borg's more ambitious handling of The Mummy's Ghost.

John Carradine is the most Grim Reaper-esque of all the series' high priests…Ramsay Ames is the most drop-dead sexy of the Kharis leading ladies…Universal's back lot New England provides a poetic, Halloween night aura for the Mummy's midnight haunts…George Zucco's Andoheb gets a farewell showcase…and the surprise Lost Horizon-style finale is still a gut puncher–probably causing more than one smart-ass 1944 teenager to shut up, sit up, and stop razzing the movie (Greg Mank, Kharis Unearthed!)

Mummys ghost Two more sections, devoted to the actors who portrayed the high-priests and the leading-ladies (the real highlights in all the Mummy movies), provide ample insight into, and respect for, the creative people who gave Kharis life.

For Kharis fans, Kharis Unearthed! is a picture and word treasure to savor, to be read late at night under the bedsheets, with a steady flashlight and a cool, dry breeze blowing in from an open window. For future Kharis fans, this special edition provides a wealth of information to prepare them for the fun of experiencing the Mummy for the first time.

Interview: Peter Normanton
From the Tomb

 

Peter Normanton is usually buried under, what with just completing The Mammoth Book of Best Horror Comics, and the rigors of publishing his From The Tomb magazine. But his love of the dissolute images and outrageous stories that spring from the unsavory pages of horror comics, to linger in our minds long after those pages have yellowed with age, makes him the kind of person we like to be interred with, too…for a little chat.

What is it about the horror comic medium that’s made you such an uber fan?

It goes back to my childhood. Like so many other kids I loved to be frightened by Doctor Who. I was convinced as a six year old the yeti was on the landing, stood outside my bedroom door. Twenty years later I had that rotten feeling all over again after watching Aliens at the cinema. I think I got my first collection of ghost stories when I was about nine, I loved that book. After that I was hooked.

I was always reading comics, mainly titles published over here in the UK such as TV21, Sparky, Beano and Jet. In 1972 Marvel Comics began reprinting the Silver Age Hulk, Spiderman and Fantastic Four in The Mighty World of Marvel. This was an incredible revelation because American comics were that rarest of treats; now I had the opportunity to keep up with these legendry stories. The love of horror, however, wouldn’t go away. It was stimulated still further by an afternoon programme with British comedian Bob Monkhouse, who was an avid comic book fan. He had in his hands several old horror comic books with the most lurid images you could imagine. They were ECs and I just had to have one of them. How, I had absolutely no idea. I wasn’t to know these titles had ceased to be published almost twenty years before. They appeared so taboo, offering the most disturbing imagery you could ever dream. I picked up a couple of DC’s one hundred page Unexpecteds, while the covers promised much the interior stories rarely satiated my lust for terror.

A few months later I came across Skywald’s Nightmare 17. It’s one of those moments I will never forget, catching sight of the cover through the newsagent’s window, with that half naked woman and the beast in the background. I had to ask for permission from my mum to make such a purchase. I still don’t know what I would have done if she had said no. I ran all the way back to the shop clutching my eighteen pence (the US equivalent would have been around 40 cents) dreading someone had already snapped it up, but no, it was still there. It seemed so adult and at last satiated my craving for that darkest kind of horror. Well almost; typically I had to have more, but those Skywalds would prove to be incredibly rare. Marvels line of black and white terrors would appear over here in the weeks that came and while I enjoyed them immensely nothing quite matched the feel of that issue of Nightmare.

In the years that followed my love of these titles has just grown. Towards the end of the 1980s, pre-Code comics became available in this country and those ECs finally came my way. Over the years horror comics have dared to unsettle and offer some amazing artistry. At their best they refuse to conform or offer any degree of compromise. I think those horror comics that attempt to be too mainstream are never going to survive. A good case in point is DC’s Hellblazer, which after twenty years is still as challenging as ever.

Interview: CreatureScape
The 21st Century Monster Model Zine

Are you into making monsters?

Just about every horrorhead has at one time or another assembled his or her own garage-kit Frankenstein, or ghoul, or zombie, or creature from some lost lagoon or godforsaken planet in resin, styrene or vinyl. I can’t say for sure that it started with Aurora’s monster kits, but it’s the ghost of Aurora that remains deeply impaled in many a kit-building horrorhead’s beating heart.

But today’s kits are more sophisticated, and today’s modelers more passionate about their art; both demand more expertise with the tools that will turn those unassembled and unpainted pieces of a dream kit into that bashed diorama of fiendish delight. Lucky for us there’s CreatureScape, the online magazine for monster model lovers everywhere to help.