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What I’d Like to See in Horror Movies for 2012

 

egyptian theater

Egyptian Theater Concession Stand, 1935

With all the Best Of lists for 2011, promising lists for 2012, and wishful thinking commentaries floating around as the 2012 movie season kicks into gear, I thought I'd share with you what I'm hoping to see more of this year in horror.

Reviewing movies to provide nominations for B-Sol's Vault of Horror Cyber Horror Awards has put me into a learning and yearning frame of mind, which naturally leads to reflection on those character and story elements in modern horror you just don't see enough of these days. And with movies like Underworld: Awakening regurgitating the usual unimaginative pablum audiences scarf down all too easily with their popcorn, a more refined palatte is left wanting–starving actually–for better artistic and involving fare. Granted upcoming movies like The Woman in Black and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter have me hopeful for some good classic scares and attentive direction, I'm still worried we might see more of the same old dreck creating the same old box office wreck.

So here's what I'd like to see more of in horror movies for 2012:

Fewer Dumbass Victims — enough already with screaming mimis who have no character depth beyond video game stats and stereotypical behaviors. Are we not men? Are we not women? It's time for characters in horror movies, both young and old, to stand up and be counted as important, living, breathing, beings with souls, and not just expendable appendages and body count possibilities. Make me care, people!

Fewer Romantic Vampires–I admit I'm a fan of Twilight, to a point. I'm all for expanding the landscape into softer areas not always deemed acceptable by hardcore genre fans. But give us back the completely evil, the unstoppable blood draining machines with no souls or compassion, who relish the carnage they bring. Honestly, Abe Lincoln, I'm talking to you!

Scarier Movies–all I'm saying is The Woman in Black better be pitch dark scary. Paranormal Activity brought back the scares, but it is overstaying its welcome. What's needed now is a good supernatural terror, borne of tragedy, winged with malice. Make me dread the dark spaces in the far corners of the room once again for 2012. 

Much Less CGI, More REAL Special Effects–let's face it, when CGI figures heavily into it, a script's important pacing and character motivations fly out the window. What's left are hey, I've got this cool image we can do approach that kills suspenseful drama and leads to shakycam pyrotechnics to cover its impracticality. I'd like to see more real special effects instead of animated cartoon monsters and setpieces, or be damn sure to make it more believable, at least.

Stronger Female Characters–you'd think most women in horror movies are easy prey, and always looking for a good time, or are morally loose, and wear impractical clothing on hunting trips, and run straight into danger on cue, and scream a lot when any sound means instant death. How much longer are we going to have to suffer through these slasher-convenient, male-centric wet dreams of slaughter? Grow up, already!

No 3D, Really, Please, NO 3D–after suffering through post-production 3D-itis, I can emphatically state that if you don't know what you're doing, then 3D's a quick gimmick to add to the ticket price to make fast money before the audience catches on to your incompetence. Either know what you're going to do with it or leave it out. This is one movie gimmick that's mostly no fun when used in a horror movie.

Memorable Monsters–when was the last time we had a memorable monster? Yeah, that's right. 

I'm sure I could add to this list, but if I could just see a little more of any of these, I'd be thrilled. Here's looking at you, 2012. 

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